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15-Apr-2016 22:35 by 10 Comments

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Tell us the details.”When you’re examining the public expression of a condition — love — that is relatively new to an entire country, every detail matters. So love invariably leads to some kind of heartache, which is what people call in to Arman FM to talk about: their doomed and broken hearts. Soft music, a Bollywood song, plays in the background, matching the nature of the story. She couldn’t ask her friends for advice, let alone her parents.

She fell in love with him without a face-to-face meeting.At the end of every Friday, the second day of the Afghan weekend, Ajmal Noorzai sits behind the mic in a dimly lit studio to host a two-hour radio show that is part storytelling made possible by technology, and part unloading of hearts — the breaking of which was facilitated by the same technology. Listeners just dial in and leave a long voicemail — or a post on the show’s Facebook page, which the host then plays or reads.It’s not the kind of love call-in show you might expect. Everyone, including the host, “I will be with you until 9 p.m.You can call 456 to record your stories, or if you have access to the internet, you can post on our Facebook page — my colleague Yalda Jan will read it anonymously in her warm voice.”The Friday night I visited the Arman FM studio in the posh Wazir Akbar Khan neighborhood of Kabul, Ajmal was wearing a checkered shirt, its short sleeves rolled up further to reveal, on his right arm, a tattoo in a shape that is neither a scorpion nor a flame.He had three mobile phones — 68 unread text messages on one, eight on another — and two computer screens in front of him.A bright neon light on the blue ceiling lit the otherwise dark room. At the mic, he took a moment to do what he does every show: ask listeners who called in to talk naturally, in their normal, human voices, and not to do what everyone always seemed to, which is imitate, in monotone, monologues from the Bollywood movies we Afghans consume en masse.

“Think of us as your bridge — with calm, with passion, tell us your stories of love, of separation. There was faith and families and slowly growing to love whoever it was you were told to be with.

Don’t be quick and just say I was in love and that’s it. Then came liberation from the Taliban and more freedom for women to come out of the house and, soon enough, an explosion of dating—offline, but largely online and over the phone.

You have between one and 10 minutes — pretend you are standing in front of a mirror, or lying in bed. war and the fall of the Taliban, relationships — at least as the Western definition of relationships — hardly existed. With dating came a new kind of “love,” one that is much more familiar to the West, but one that has caused an understandable and not insignificant amount of confusion here because, while young people have started a slow, dicey exploration of modern relationships, the rest of society still clings to ultra-conservative values.

He must have sensed her heart opening to him because soon she felt a change in him, too. Clearly, she thought, he is talking to other girls.

With his treasure won, he just wasn’t that into her. The music in the background rises to a crescendo and pours from speakers all over the country — out of the radios of cab drivers braving the dangerous streets at night, out of the portable radios of weary soldiers patrolling in distant provinces, out of computer speakers and the radios of old men who still find looking at TV screens blasphemous. No commentary, no back and forth between caller and host.

When the song ends, the show goes straight into a commercial break.

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