Flirt dating sex
Flirt dating sex - Online sex
Either way, the date’s over and you’re stuck in recovery mode instead of leading towards a night of passion and several hours of squishy noises back at your place.You want to provide a takeaway in order to pull the tension back as well as keep them off balance.
The problem is that because we have such a hard time explaining chemistry it takes on the level of myth – chemistry is just there or it isn’t. The closer you get to actually getting it but without actually being able to achieve it causes the desire to grow.Which – brace yourselves, I’m about to blow your minds – is bullshit. Marketers know this, which is why they practice artificial scarcity – they’ll tell you “Call now, supplies are running out!Chemistry is a mix of sexual tension and emotional and intellectual engagement, and it can be built, if you know how. It’s a facet of our personalities that we want that which is denied to us. ” and rub their hands with glee whenever the news outlets pick up a story on how the HOT NEW GADGET is unavailable. Check e Bay the morning after a new i Phone is released.One of the key components of chemistry is sexual tension. Sexual tension is desire for someone that is somehow thwarted, whether by circumstance, obstacles… But we’re talking about desire, not materialism, right?Sexual tension – deliberately building and then frustrating sexual interest – is all about the lead-up.This is the key to sexual tension: the build up and then the release. Think of it like a pressurized tank of gas: it has an emergency release valve.
If the pressure grows past a certain point, the tank ruptures; the valve is there to equalize the pressure, keeping it just below the danger zone.
It’s the same with building sexual tension: keep building the tension for too long, whether through flirting or physical contact, and you’re going to redline – either you’ll creep out your date or overwhelm them.
Except the same principle applies: we want what we can’t have.
And we can deliberately invoke that in the people we’re dating. What makes them work the steep drops, the loops, corkscrews and hard banking turns, it’s the loooooong build-up at the beginning.
It’s the building of expectations that makes the sudden drop immediately afterwards so satisfying; just launching into the ride – the way some coasters do – is less satisfying.
When people – usually guys – talk about “the thrill of the chase” in dating, they’re talking about the lead up to the “conquest”, the heady feeling of inevitability that grows like an orgasm to a crescendo before you reach the point of no return.